From: Melanie and Ron
I too am greatly enjoying Horse sense--even bought your book after discovering it! I also decided to write you the whole story although I'm sure you will want to edit it should you use it in the newletter. A personal response would be fine with me also.
I am a 40 year old female beginner. My family lives in a small town in the mountains of North Idaho. After my 11 year old daughter came home in tears of despair sobbing" I'll never get a horse", I spoke with a friend who is a lifelong horseman, has an outfitting business, a whole bunch of horses, several very large fields and a barn, and loves to get people addicted to equines.
We began with a "20 something" retired outfitters quarterhorse named Charlie. A true babysitter, and my daughter's dream. We did 4 H Horse this summer (no Pony clubs in this neighborhood-- hadn't ever heard of them til I went online!), and I rode several of our mentors horses with her, and went trail riding with husband and friend, and helped take care of a new horse that needed TLC, and in general have been reliving MY 11 year old girl horse crazy days.
By the fall, my 8 year old son wanted to join the club. He fell in love with a 1 1/2 year old POA filly at the County Fair which we said an absolute no to after consulting with various advisors. He continued heavy lobbying for a month, and we told our original mentor (and pasture owner, lender of tack, trailer, and truck to pull the trailer) that if he came upon a good deal in a small horse that would be suitable for us, to let us know (he was buying horses for the business anyway). He "accidentally" purchased a sweet gentle 14 year old Arabian named Silver, recommended by the farrier at a great price and bought sigth unseen. He doesn't use Arabians for his dude hunters on the trail, but thought he would make a nice 4H horse for my daughter, so we started working with Silver.
The adults in our family immediately fell in love with him, and decided to move my daughter to Silver and let the son ride Charlie. My daughter was a little tentative but openminded until she decided to trot. She kicked him HARD in the flanks like she has to to get Charlie to trot and sure enough, Silver ran all out to the other side of the barn by his buddy and stopped. My daughter sat silently frozen, and despite my efforts to make her ride him again (I didn't succeed until a week or so later, then just 3 times around the pen). She decided she didn't like him (even though the mistake was hers).
The kids started fighting over Charlie every time we went to the barn, and I kept having to send them to the car for their awful behavior. My daughter pointed out that Charlie was her birthday present and it wasn't fair to take him away, We conceded that she did have a point, and picturing a happy family once again riding decided to go pony shopping.
In the meantime Silver had a bought of Colic, and while he recovered nicely he bonded to me and I bonded to him (after 1 1/2 hours of walking in 40 degree weather with only a light jacket waiting for the vet to arrive and for my husband to feed the kids, make a dinner for me and bring me my coat). He stopped running from me when I go out to catch him--even moving towards me, and going over to the gate by the hitching post when I'm just visitnng and don't have time to ride! If he doesn't want to do something I talk to him and make kissy noises and he does it right away. His one problem is standing still while I mount--the other day he just wouldn't do it--I'd gathered the reins and said "Ho" and he still was moving so I slapped him lightly on the butt. He kind of came unglued and moved forward, turned, then reared. I had the end of a long rein in my hand, stayed put, and when he came down and back to his orignal position he was wild eyed and breathing hard (reminded me of my kids indignantly saying "Mom how could you DO that to me!") and I talked to him gently until he calmed down.
So my first question for you is "what is the proper way to handle a situation like that", both teaching him to stand still, and rearing. My mentor tends to take a harsher approach to horses than I find myself comfortable with (see the following story), so I'd like your opinion. I also am concerned about what might happen if I ever needed to discipline Silver while mounted--never been on a rearing horse and while I've read your advice to others about that subject. Thus far sweetness and light seems to work so well with him I've avoided swatting him except for that one time, but I'd like to know your opinion.
Now, back to the pony. I finally found one I thought would work out for an acceptable price, and bought him and brought him home. (I told my son I must really love him to be doing this, because I gave up too many fine riding days in the search and moving processes--but the looking was a good learning experience). He is an almost seven year old POA--13 hands, big enough for the adults to ride, with opposite coloring of the original pony love. Joker (the name SHOULD have been a clue) seemed quite calm when we tried him out. His faults which were demonstrated included liking to chew on his bit (a "Tom Thumb"--snaffle with a shank), and doing a funny little hop with his hind feet if he didn't want to do something (both my daughter and I experienced it, didn't seem like much). The woman we bought him from rode him with a willow switch in hand for those balky moments, and when I was riding him there I was switchless but lifted my hand like I was going to swat him and he kicked right into gear.
When I went to pick him up his former owner had a bit of a battle of wills with him getting him loaded, (like a tug of war where he pulled back so far he almost got his haunches to the ground!) but she was stressed and in a hurry and explained that I was parked under a tree and he didn't like overhanging branches. He got impatient and stamped his feet on the way home, but it was a four hour drive and I figured a little impatience was understandable, especially when we stopped along the way. Kids and I rode him in the pen around the barn the first week with no problem--then on Saturday we took him out into the big field. My husband was on the Arabian and I was on Joker, and everthing was fine til we went away from the barn on one end of the field (the other direction was fine--but somehow that way hit this barn sour mode or something and neither horse wanted to go.) After a couple refusals I got out the switch, and when I used it he bucked.
Having never had this problem before, I didn't have a clue what to do, and got bucked off. Fortunately our mentor was there working on his new shed, so he told me about keeping his head up, and with help I got back on and found I could intterupt incipient bucking successfully. But after getting rid of me, he got quite stubborn and refusals became commonplace (we're not taking jumping here, just walking forward accross the field). He just puts his ears back, plants all four feet, and refuses to budge unless forced. My friend perceives it as temper, and maybe being spoiled and says what he needs is the switch and a lot of it.
I've tried to work with Joker as close to every day as I could (sick kids and work have interfered). He's definitely got this bratty side to him--left a saddle pad in reach and stepped away for a minute and he picked it up, put it in the mud, and was stamping on it when I got back, looking up at me to see what I'd do. He's usually tried bucking as I went to that end of the field where I fell off. Try to ride a different pattern every time but also make him go where doesn't want to go every time.
Joker is also hard to get a bit on. Last Monday Mentor was there along with farrier, and assistants getting all the horses feet ready for winter (we pull the shoes because the snow and ice stick to them so bad they end up walking on six inches of ice). Had him do the bridling to show me how--and Joker acted up and got a couple swift kicks in the gut. Only tired bucking a couple of times, that day though.
The next time I went out he didn't want to go to the hitching post where that bridling demonstration was held--don't really blame him. It was snowing anyway, so I went in the barn for both of our comfort. He seemed nervous and a little head shy so I thought maybe we were overdoing the discipline bit and that I'd better make friends again. I went really slowly and fed him hay and groomed him a long time and put a little toothpaste on the bit. I had been reading your book, and while I didn't use the toothbush thought it might help if the bit tasted good. I warmed up the bit before putting it on, tied his head up real close as instructed so he couldn't throw it like he was doing, and bridled him with less of a fight. I petted him and talked to him awhile, then finished saddling and rode him. Tried my "sweetness and light" approach that I use on Silver--talk to him the first time he hesitates, try the legs, and only swat if that dosn't work. Ended up going in a circle to get to the original direction multiple times, but he didn't put his ears back as much. Only had to swat once, in the usual spot on the field, and he didn't even start to buck except when we were way down at the far end and a snowplow came by making a horrible rattling noise--my friend agreed that anything would spook at that.Except instead of startling or shying like the others do, this one tries to put his head down and tenses up.
I want to work this thing out with him before I put either of the kids on him, and then start with my daughter who at least has a summer's experience riding before I let my son on. And I haven't told him about this problem, although the whole rest of the town knows and has had a good laugh over it.
What do you think of my approach with the pony? Any suggestions? People keep telling me that this is just the "pony personality" in him--do you think that's what it is? Or is he just testing the new riders to see what we will do? Or should I look for some other problem?
Anyway, as you can see I've had an interesting year! Am learning lots, although not doing the formal instruction route. Nearest stable advertising lessons is a two hour drive away--not an option. Thought of asking one of the locals to work with me a little more, most people give up riding here in the winter and turn to skiing and snowmobiling, so I don't know how much practice I can get over the winter. Plan on taking my horse to 4 H and riding myself along with both kids next summer and getting some instruction that way. Am going to try to ride as long as I can, and especially work with Pony and see if we get these problesm ironed out. Thanks in advance for your assistance.
Melanie
Nonsense.
"Pony personality" is not a mysterious phenomenon. But here's the thing: ponies, especially the smaller ones, are ridden by CHILDREN and not by adults. Even horses that are regularly ridden by competent adult riders can go downhill in their attitude and comfort level VERY quickly when they are ridden by children for several months -- but the advantage of horses is that it's always possible to hand them back over to the competent adult, or to another competent adult, for some reschooling and a refresher course in riding horse etiquette. But adults can't get on little ponies, and large adults can't get on medium-sized ponies. Many, many ponies go from bad to worse through no fault of their own, but only because they are ridden inconsistently (and often badly) by youngsters who are ruled by their emotions, and who take every reaction of their ponies as a personal reflection on themselves.
[In fact, anyone who has a SMALL horse-loving person in the family should be aware that there are good, well-paying jobs in the horse world for child-size ADULT riders! Not being a jockey (although that too can pay well), but working with ponies -- training, schooling, and re-schooling them, tuning them up for the show season, and so on.]
I think that what you need is a good local instructor who can help you through the rough spots, evaluate your ponies, and help you decide whether and when they will be suitable for your children. Since Joker is large enough for a small adult to ride, you may get some help in that department as well -- but look for a GOOD, competent instructor, not just someone who says "Sure, I'll give you lessons." Since you have my book, read the chapter on selecting an instructor -- and then call the ARICP to get the name of a certified instructor near you, or check out the directory of certified instructors on their website.
American Riding Instructors Association (ARIA)
28801 Trenton Court
Bonita Springs, FL 34134-3337
Tel: 239 948-3232
Fax: 239 948-5053
On the Web: http://www.riding-instructor.com/
E-Mail: aria@riding-instructor.com
At this point, I wouldn't even insist on an instructor in a particular specialty! If there is an ARICP-certified instructor who specializes in Stock Seat or Recreational Riding, that would be ideal, of course -- but you could also learn what you need to know from someone whose main specialty is Dressage or Combined Training. The key factor is safety -- and the people who are helping you NOW don't seem to be aware of how unsafe their methods and recommendations are.
I don't want you, or your children (or anyone else!) to get hurt -- and I don't want your ponies to end up selling at auction because they are "difficult" or "uncontrollable" when something as simple as six months of lessons with a good instructor could put you on a much safer and more pleasant path.
Tying a pony's head up so that you can bridle it is a DANGEROUS idea; you could easily end up injured, or with a badly injured pony. Horses are frightened of being confined or trapped -- when you combine this (tying them tightly) with a process they find frightening or painful (bridling, clipping, or anything else!), you have a formul for disaster. Force CANNOT be the answer -- and this is where some good professional help can make all the difference. You need to learn how to communicate with your ponies, and this means learning how to make yourself clear to them -- AND how to listen to what they are telling (or showing) you.
Leaving a horse with anything within reach of its mouth -- saddle pad, bridle, blanket, sandwich, baseball cap -- is basically issuing the horse with an invitation to chew it. Horses don't have hands, so they investigate things with their noses and lips and tongues and teeth - - and when they've checked the item over, they often just drop it. There's no sense in blaming the horse for being a horse -- just remember not to leave things within grabbing range. ;-) It's a bit like getting angry with a human baby for trying to stuff something unsuitable into its mouth -- that's what babies DO, and that's why adults simply keep unsuitable things out of the baby's reach.
Your account of Silver rearing is another example of bad advice and dangerous consequences -- when you are frustrated because a pony is moving forward when you mount, the LAST thing you want to do is hit him ANYWHERE. Hitting doesn't make horses calm, and you need that pony to be calm so that he can learn what you want from him. Hitting him on the rear end is, in effect, shouting at him to MOVE FORWARD NOW -- so you shouldn't have been surprised when he jumped forward. And if a horse moves forward when he's asked to, and then is jerked backward -- or simply hits an unyielding bit, because the rider isn't giving with her hands -- his natural AND PREDICTABLE reaction will be to rear.
If you want your pony to stand still, just keep lining him up to the mounting block and telling him "Whoa" and then "Stand." When he does either, tell him "Good boy." Mount gently -- no slamming into the saddle! -- and sit straight, and tell him "Stand". If he does, tell him "good boy" again, and scratch him on the withers, but don't look down and don't lean forward! If he stands, and you lean forward to pat him on the neck, your body will be telling him "Okay, start moving forward NOW" -- and that's exactly what he will do.
Rearing is very dangerous, and horses generally do it only when they are frustrated, frightened, hurt, confused, or some combination of the above. A horse's FIRST reaction to anything scary or painful will be to run away from it -- rearing is a later reaction, and it comes when the horse isn't allowed to run away from the scary or painful object or situation. If he can't go forward or sideways or even backward to get away from whatever is upsetting or hurting him, he will go in the only direction left open, and that is UP.
If you put your pony into such a situation, and he rears, don't even THINK about pulling on the reins. For one thing, that's probably what caused the problem in the first place. For another, you can pull him over on top of you -- NOT a good idea. Instead, loosen the reins, lean forward and push your hands and arms FORWARD, low around his neck. Then use your legs to send him forward, and move one rein out, away from his neck, to ask him to TURN at the same time.
If the rearing is repeated, think twice about putting children, or adults! -- on that pony. Perhaps a month or two with a GOOD trainer (a kind, correct one, not a quick-fix mechanically-oriented one) will take care of the problem, but I generally find that the best solution is to send the pony to the trainer for a few months, then go to the trainer yourself and have him train you together with the pony for another few months. It's money and time well spent. You say "My mentor tends to take a harsher approach to horses than I find myself comfortable with." I think that your instincts are much better than your mentor's -- in fact, if I were you I would look for a new mentor, and find one who is (a) safety-oriented and (b) knowledgeable. The ARICP directory is a great way to find such people.
Ponies, like children, need kind, consistent, definite handling. Like children, they need to be encouraged when they do what you want them to do, and like children, they will NOT learn good behaviour from being frightened or beaten -- they will only learn that you are someone to avoid. From reading your story, it seems clear to me that when you follow your own instincts, and try to make friends with the ponies, your results are consistently better than they are when you take advice from people who encourage you to use brutal methods. Think about this!
Ponies and horses, like children, like adults, like any living creature, act oddly when they are confused, upset, or in pain. While you're finding your new instructor, have your vet check your ponies' teeth and mouths, and ask him to evaluate your bit and bridle fit. Have him check their legs and backs, and, if he is willing, ask him to evaluate your saddle fit as well. No pony will work happily under saddle if his mouth or back hurts -- and no pony can talk.
Head-tossing may be the pony's only way of saying "My mouth hurts" or "The bit is too big" or "the bit has a sharp edge" or ""the rider is pulling on the reins" -- or "the browband is pinching my ears." Balking and rearing may be the pony's only way of saying "your legs said "GET GOING and your hands said DON'T GO FORWARD" -- or, perhaps, "this saddle is hurting my back so much I can hardly move."
A good, certified instructor will be able to help you in all these areas -- riding, schooling, horse management, tack fitting and selection. All of these play a part in your ponies' behaviour. Take your time, look for someone who can give you genuine help, and make the investment in your riding future and your children's riding future. And believe me, it IS an investment -- you can introduce your children to something that can give them a lifetime of pleasure, instead of putting them into a situation that will frighten and endanger them and their ponies.
Please stay in touch -- and if you have any trouble locating a good instructor in your area, send me a note and I'll see what I can find.
Jessica
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