From: Andrea
Once again, I will turn to you for some sound advice. My daughter's pony mare is estimated to be in her early to mid 30s. We pretty much retired her last fall, though up until last Spring she gave an occasional pony ride. Several years ago she started growing a heavy, long coat and did not shed it out in the summer. (I now have to body clip her every summer.) I also noted that her face was puffy - instead of having the usual depressions over the eyes that older horses have, she is swollen out. I have diagnosed this as Cushing's Disease, but have never had the vet do any tests - though he agrees that it is probably Cushing's. Along with this she has had chronic founder, though my current farrier has worked wonders and in the last few years, has kept her founder free. However, in the last two months she has declined rapidly. She lies down a lot, but has no trouble getting back up. She moves extremely slowly, and is in obvious discomfort. I had her on Glucosamine and MSM last year, but she was doing so well as of the Spring, I took her off both. So I have had her back on 10,000 mg glucosamine and 4000 mgs MSM daily (divided into two doses). She's been on this course for abut 3 weeks and seems to be just getting worse. A couple weeks ago the farrier was here but did not work on her feet as we both felt she would be too uncomfortable. He did say the feet looked good and he didn't think it was founder making her so sore. He felt that her knees and hips were the source of the pain. I did put her on bute for about 10 days, but I dont like to give her too much for too long - neither the farrier or my vet approve of its use.
Now for the twist. A few days ago we noticed her lying down and breathing rapidly. It was an unusually warm day for October in Maine and she was sweating - which is not uncommon for her with her thick coat. She got up but her rapid breathing continued. I called the vet and we took her temperature which was almost 102F - He couldn't pin point the exact cause of this fever, but gave her intravenous banamine and instramuscular antibiotic. I gave her an additional dose of banamine (intramuscular)6 hours later as he prescribed, and then an additional 15mg antibiotic 24 hours later and then another one the following day. The vet offered no explanation except that with her supressed immune system due to the Cushing's, she could have a low-grade infection. It has been five days since this last episode and she is no better. She is still sweating and breathing rapidly. She is walking even more feebly and I notice that she is rocking back off her toes and onto her heels, her feet do look almost foundered to me, but the vet didn't make any mention of it when he was here. She takes very slow deliberate, hesitating steps and her back legs tremble with each attempt.
I hate to see her suffer like this. She is the sweetest little pony on earth ( I will send you her picture with a separate e-mail!) She is eating happily, still has a sparkle in her eye and all her other bodily functions are normal.
My vet is a very good vet, but I know he will hesitate to suggest that she be euthanized. He made no mention of it when he was here. He warned me not to put her on bute again and said I was doing all I could with the MSM and Glucosamine. I know that I am asking you to give an opinion on a pony you've never seen, and I also realize that I cannot put the burden on you or anyone else to make the final decision. I guess I just need one more view - is there anything else I can do for this darling girl? or should I let her go peacefully and with dignity. My 8 y.o. daughter and I have discussed the possibility of having to "help" Rusty by putting her out of her pain, but talking about it and doing it are two different things.
(I am sorry this is so long, but I want to give you every possible detail in the hopes that there is something that me, my vet and my farrier have missed)
I truly appreciate any thoughts you have on this subject.
Gratefully, Andrea
You sound wise and sensible and you've obviously been doing your best for this pony. I think you know that you've reached the point at which your best isn't, and can't be, good enough. You can no longer keep her comfortable, and it would be unkind to keep her alive and in pain just because you can't bear to let her go.
You're at the point of making one of the hardest and most responsible and selfless decisions that a horseman can be called upon to make - and if you ARE a horseman, you'll tend to keep horses throughout their lives, and you WILL need to make this decision at some point. We all do. It's never easy, but it's something we have to do for our horses, and our priority must be our horses' welfare, not our own emotions.
This has gone well beyond Cushing's - your little mare may be foundering, and she is certainly in pain. Elevated pulse and respiration can be signs of an infection somewhere, but what matters here is that even in the absence of any infection or injury, these are also signs of pain. Whether she has an occult infection or whether she is simply in pain, the result is the same - a miserable pony that deserves better.
From your description, it seems clear that your vet is unwiling to say "Put her down now" - this is NOT unusual, very few vets will come out and say this unless you have known them for thirty years AND are related to them or married to them! And indeed those words are not his responsibility to speak, but yours. I think that if you tell him "Please come out and put the pony down, it's time", he will agree with you. He's said - and you already know - that bute is not the answer, and that there is nothing more you can do, and that your careful, loving management and the dietary supplements you've provided are doing all they can do... which, sadly, is obviously no longer enough.
I don't think that you and your vet and farrier have missed anything. As I read your letter, I was going through a mental checklist of my own, and every time I thought of something, you had already checked into that or done that. I think that all of you are good, caring, conscientious horse-loving people who hate to see a good old pony go downhill, and I suspect that all of you know that it's time to put her out of her pain and give her a peaceful, dignified death. You haven't missed anything, you've done everything you could do, and you've given it a lot of thought. The bottom line is that you, as the horse's owner, will have to be the one to make the decision and the announcement.
Andrea, I wish I had an answer for you that would have some magic or some healing in it, but I haven't. All I can do is to tell you that you sound like my kind of horse-owner, and that as hard as it is to let this pony go, it's time to do just that. Horses exist in the moment, and the only thing your pony has right now is pain. It's time for her pain to end... and, sadly, for yours to begin. We do tend to outlive our animals, and it always hurts when they go, no matter what the circumstances may be. It's hard to put an animal down when we think there's any hope anywhere, and it's (comparatively) easy to make the decision when the situation has deteriorated to the point where the animal's agony is obvious to even the most casual observer. But horsemen don't wait until they can make the easy call - they act when the horse needs them to act. On the whole - and believe me, I've been there too - it's better to say, afterward, "Perhaps I acted a little too soon" than to have to admit "I waited far too long". Unfortunately, we get so caught up in our feelings for our animals that we often make them wait too long for the mercy they all deserve.
You've given this pony a good life - now give her a good death. Of course you'll cry. That's normal. Your vet will probably cry too.
I can tell from the tone of your letter that you already know everything I've said here, but if reading this helps you get the courage to do what you need to do, that's fine. You've done well by this pony up to now - this is the last thing you can do for her. She needs you to come through for her and look after her and take care of her as you always have, and I feel sure that you WILL, because that's the kind of person you are.
You're in my thoughts.
Jessica
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