From: Carly
Hi Jessica! I'm a big fan of yours and I kind of think that I know what you are going to tell me, but I'm writing to you anyway because the sensible part of my brain needs some reinforcement. I did what you always say not to do, I bought a young horse. I have been riding for about six months, mostly on trails, with a few lessons, so I would have to say that we are both green. I was in a hurry to spend my time on the trails having fun, so didn't pay very good attention in my lessons. I'm not a very good student anyway, I never liked school. Simon is a registered QH (mostly TB) and he is three. He was supposed to be a Western Pleasure horse but the owners thought he was too big and clumsy to win any shows as a two-year-old so he got sold instead, to a man who started him English and then sold him to me when he was three. When I first bought him five months ago, I quickly determined that I could not ride him outside, because he will turn suddenly and take off at a canter. It feels like a wild gallop to me, but my friend who rides with me says it's just a canter. So we do all our riding in the indoor ring. It is very small, made for Western Pleasure horses, and he can't get up a lot of speed in it. But it is very boring going around and around in there, and now he has decided that one end of the ring is very scary and he doesn't want to go near it. When I bought him he was a lot quieter and nicer than this. When he gets scared of something or just decides to act up he starts to spin and run, and when I ask him to stop he won't unless he wants to or if we are at the gate where I get off. Now he bucks sometimes, too. I want to learn to ride correctly but I am worried that it may be too late. I can tell how many bad habits I am getting into. I ride with my feet out in front of me so I can use all my strength to try and stop him when he gets going, I know I should use my seat but I don't know how, I just pull the reins and brace against the stirrups, and I know that is all wrong but I don't know what else to do because I just can't control him. I'm sure it's mostly me. I don't think his saddle fits all that well either. It fit him okay when I bought him, he came with it in fact, but now he gets mad when I tack him up and when I tried to slide fingers under the pommel I couldn't even get one finger in. So probably his saddle is hurting him and maybe that is why he acts the way he does? I used to love riding but now I'm hardly riding at all, and I catch myself making up reasons that I can't go to the barn most days. It's very upsetting to me and also to my husband, because I dreamed all my life about having my own horse and now that I have a horse and my husband's support about the horse, I am afraid of it and can't ride it. I have talked to my husband and my friends and I think I know what to do, but I want your evaluation of this situation. Please help me. This can't be good for the horse either. He is a nice horse basically, and he is very pretty and smart and has a sweet personality when I'm not riding him. These days when I do ride him, all I ever do is walk around the indoor arena and wait for him to take off. Carly (and Simon the Appendix QH)
This is not the horse for you. Not now, anyway. You made the two mistakes that a lot of riders make: First, you bought a horse before you were ready to own one, and Second, you bought the wrong horse.
You're right - the horse is probably a sweetheart, but he is very young, barely trained, and badly in need of a calm, confident, competent rider who understands how to handle young horses. Meanwhile, YOU are in need of a calm, confident, competent horse that has taught a few other people to ride and is happy to be your teacher.
Six months of trail riding with a few lessons is not enough preparation for all the responsibilities of horse ownership and regular riding, let alone training. You would have benefited much more from a year or two of weekly lessons with a good instructor, then a part-lease or lease of a horse recommended by your instructor (while you continue with your lessons), and finally the purchase of a horse that is sane, sensible, experienced, and reasonably sound - again, with your instructor's help and advice.
It's not too late, either. I know that you like Simon, but you know perfectly well that he's not the right horse for you. He might be a good third or fourth horse for you, somewhere down the line, but as a first horse, he's completely unsuitable. And take a look at the situation from Simon's point of view, too - as an owner/trainer, YOU are completely unsuitable. ;-)
This horse needs a rider with skills and experience that you don't have. You need a horse with training and experience and a mature outlook that Simon doesn't have. It's nobody's fault, but you're not a match. You know enough to know that you need to know more - but you need to know a LOT more, and you can't learn it overnight, and you need to be as safe as possible whilst you learn. Simon needs to be safe and comfortable, too. You mentioned his saddle fit - a good thing to be concerned about! But you didn't realize that any saddle that won't allow you to place stacked fingers between the underside of the pommel and his spine is actually impinging on his spine - which can certainly create unwanted behaviours (much "bad" behaviour is the result of pain), but which is also setting Simon up for permanent physical damage. So if you have any intention of keeping him or even riding him again, please get some good advice from a local person who can help you find a suitable saddle (secondhand, third-hand, synthetic, ugly, it doesn't matter as long as it fits your horse and is comfortable for you!). If Simon has been sore-backed from poor saddle fit, his attitude about being ridden may change dramatically once he has a saddle that fits - and once his bruising and soreness have a chance to heal.
If you're permanently and desperately attached to this particular horse, and you can afford the amount of money involved, the most sensible solution would be to get good professional training for the horse, while at the same time getting as many good lessons as possible for yourself. Then, after several months or half a year, it might be possible for a really good trainer to re-unite you and your horse and help you learn to communicate and then make progress together.
That's not a guarantee of success, though, and it's usually a very costly arrangement. It would probably be wiser, and would certainly be more economical, to sell Simon to someone who has the experience and know-how to train and enjoy him, and to put your focus (and your money) into your OWN training. You'll probably be a really good student now that you've found out just how helpless you can feel when you're up there thinking "Oh, no, I just don't know what to do!" Riding lessons, if you have a good instructor, shouldn't remind you of being in school. For one thing, YOU are paying for the lessons and going to some trouble to take them - for another, it's a subject you care about very much, and you know how important those lessons are. There's nothing like having a solid, practical reason for wanting to learn something. Basic math classes and home economics classes would probably have much more appeal if they were called "checkbook balancing skills" and "coping with kitchen accidents", even if they covered the same material. If you care about a subject and are eager to learn, any good instructor should be absolutely delighted to take you on. Look in the HORSE-SENSE archives for other letters about riding instruction - you'll find all sorts of information to help you find and keep a good instructor.
While you're deciding what to do with your horse's training and your own, here are a few suggestions.
If Simon isn't on full-time turnout, put him there. He needs the exercise.
Look at his feed chart - is he getting grain? What kind of hay is he eating, and how much of it? If he's on alfalfa, put him on grass hay. If he's already on grass hay, cut his grain. If he's getting sweet feed, give him oats instead. It's very easy for an underexercised, overfed horse to get into trouble.
DON'T ride him, even for a minute, and don't let anyone else ride him either, in a saddle that's sitting on his spine. Have the vet check his back, and look for a saddle that isn't going to damage this horse any more. And if the vet thinks that Simon needs a month or two months or six months off because of his sore back, turn him out full-time (Simon, not the vet), and spend the six months taking riding lessons from a good instructor, just as often as you possibly can.
Above all, whether you ride Simon or turn him out, whether you keep him or sell him, find a good instructor so that you can have the benefit of advice from a sensible, experienced person. A good instructor will be able to help you learn and stay safe - and help you sell Simon to a more appropriate owner, OR help you arrange to send Simon to "horse school" while you're attending riding school. My strong feeling is that you would be better off with an older, much better-trained, kind and competent "confidence-builder" horse. After all, this is your lifetime dream, and it ought to be a source of joy for you, not a cause of fear and frustration.
Good luck, stay safe, and remember that the more you learn and the better you understand horses and riding, the more fun you will have with your own horse, when you eventually buy another one.
Jessica
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