From: Kristina
Dear Jessica, I really like your horse-sense publication and i look in the archives often to help me with horse problems. But here is one problem that i could not find an answer to:
In June of 1999, my best friend and I (we were both 15 years old, she just turned 16 last month) were at our weekly horseback riding lesson. we had been riding for 2 years. I was leasing a horse who was rather stubborn, but we were starting to build a relationship. She wasn't leasing a horse- she just rode which ever she was told to for that week. It happened that she was riding an 11 year old saddlebred mare. My trainer had gotten her about 3 months ago. The horse had been abused, but my trainer had ridden her many times and even had an 11 year old girl on the horse and everything went fine. I had a pretty good lesson, but my friend, Joy, didn't have a good lesson at all. The horse refused to do what she asked, so my instructor, to prevent further frustration, told us to go outside to cool the horses down. A new student had shown up so my trainer stayed in the barn while we walked into the front field to cool the horse out. Things were fine until the Joy's horse wouldn't turn. Joy kicked it and kicked it when it suddenly reared and flipped back on top of her. Needless to say the rest of the day was pure hell for both her and me. I had to call an ambulance and she was rushed to the hospital. Nothing was broken, but she had a badly bruised ankle. She hasn't been riding since. The horse that did that has been gone for 3 1/2 months. She would tell me that she didn't want to see the horse and that is why she didn't want to go riding. She wasn't a stunningly great rider, but it was the one time a week that I could see her and talk to her. Since the accident, I have talked to her three times-that is how conflicting our scheldues are. She really enjoyed riding-is there anything that I can do to convince her to come back to riding? I know our trainer shouldn't have left us unattended, but everyone makes mistakes. I know Joy misses riding because she tells me that she wants to come back, but that she doesn't know if she can get back up on another horse. Recently she has said that she has enough courage to come back, but that she doesn't want to face our trainer again. I don't understand why. Is there anything I can do to help her gain her confidence again enough to come back to riding? Any advice is greatly appreciated. -Kristina
I'm sorry to hear about Joy's accident and loss of confidence. I do understand that you'd like to see your friend, and that riding was a good way for the two of you to get together, but I'm not sure that you can -- or should -- convince your friend to come back and ride again at this particular barn.
I'm concerned about the subtext of your story. As an instructor and as a person concerned with the ethics and practices of instruction, I find it disturbing that the instructor put your friend on a horse with known problems. A rider with two years of weekly group lessons is a rider with very little experience, and such a rider should be taught on reliable, steady horses.
I also find it disturbing that your friend was unable to get the horse to do what she wanted IN A LESSON, and apparently got no help from the instructor. Sending a frustrated rider outside may get the problem out of the instructor's sight, but doesn't even begin to address the real issues of communication and control. It would have been much more sensible, and ethical, for the instructor to teach your friend how to handle the horse, or, if this wasn't possible because of your friend's inexperience and the horse's individual problems, to put your friend on a different horse.
When the horse wouldn't turn, your friend kicked it and kicked it -- and I'll bet any amount of money that she was also pulling the reins. This is not the way to ask a horse to turn, but it's a pretty reliable formula for getting a horse to rear or fall over. Why would your friend do something so painful to the horse and so dangerous for both horse and rider? It was the wrong thing to do, but again, this worries me because it says a great deal about the quality of the instruction your friend has been getting. Even though two years is not a long time, a rider who had taken two years of weekly lessons with a good instructor would not have done such a thing. And a novice rider shouldn't have been on her own in this situation -- if the instructor had been there to say "loosen the reins and send the horse forward", the situation could have been much safer. When a horse and rider have been absolutely unable to communicate and cooperate in a supervised situation -- the lesson -- it is absolutely NOT the right time to send that horse and rider outside, out of the arena and out of the instructor's sight.
I think that your friend had a big scare and a painful fall, and that these can be hard to deal with, even under ideal circumstances (quiet schoolhorse, well-taught rider, good instructor). I think that under the circumstances, your friend was lucky to escape with just a bruised ankle. I think that it would be lovely for you and your friend to ride together again, but I would strongly advise that you find another barn where the quality of instruction is better. You're right, everybody DOES make mistakes. But this particular mistake shouldn't have been made, and wouldn't have been made by a good instructor. Riding IS risky, and there is no reason to make it more risky than it is. Unavoidable accidents are one thing; setting up situations that make accidents likely is quite another thing!
Your friend doesn't sound at all cowardly to me; actually she sounds very sensible. She didn't want to get back on that horse, and she doesn't want to deal with that instructor -- I agree with both decisions. If you can find a better-run barn and some good instruction, perhaps from an ARICP-certified instructor (to certify, these instructors must prove their competence and knowledge and safety orientation), I'll bet you can get your friend to come out and ride with you again.
If not, perhaps there is something else that the two of you could do together? I know what it's like when friends to have schedules that make it difficult for them to get together. I'd like to be able to tell you that there will be more time to hang out together when you get older, but... even now, I have friends whom I see once a month for coffee, because that hour or two is all the "schedule overlap" we can manage! You have my sympathy. ;-)
Jessica
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